5:45 am – Realized I get my best sleep in those 9 minute chunks of snooze alarm time. Reset alarm to 6:30 am. Double checked that it was for AM. Three times.

6:30 am – Got up. Really wanted to work out on elliptical this morning. No energy, maybe later. Took shower instead. Got out of shower. Realized forgot to rinse conditioner out of hair after I put up in towel. Get back in shower, rinse hair. Not an auspicious beginning to day. Get dressed, make bed. Trip over dog bed. Realize never moved them out bedroom. Watched news. Possible tornado breakout in travel area for Hubs and father in law. Wished I hadn’t watched news. Make mental note to tell the Hubs to keep eye on weather today.

7:00 am – Go downstairs. Forgot phone. Went back upstairs. Must be tied to cell while Hubs is traveling. Get to nightstand. Forget what I went back for. Realized had not taken vitamins. Take vitamins. Head back downstairs. Without phone.  Again. Think maybe I should just go back to bed. For rest of week. Eventually get downstairs. Let SD1 out of crate. He’s excited to see me. Get lots of puppy kisses. Maybe he’s worried that I am losing my mind. It’s a serious concern. Let SD2 out of crate. She went right to SD1 and ignored me. Uh oh. Get them outside to potty. Both come racing back in when done. Wash pan from scrambled eggs last night. Decide to make them scrambled eggs again. Drop one egg on floor. Clean up.  SD1 will not take his pills. Give up. Give SD2 hers. Again, SD1 gets pouty and takes his. Tomorrow will just give SD2 hers first. Teach him a lesson. Scramble eggs and mix them into kibble. Put bowls on floor. Egg meticulously picked out of kibble by both dogs. Leave kibble on floor. Momma’s patience is waning.

7:35 am – Make bagel non-cajun style. Proud moment. Spill water on bagel and self while attempting to take sip. Clearly beverage consumption not my forte last 24 hours. Change out SD1 & 2’s crate pails and give them fresh water. SD2 immediately mucks hers up.  Seems to be a challenge to her. Rinse out and refill with fresh water. Go upstairs to start work.

7:45 am – Sit down at desk. Start answering emails. Wonder why I bother since no one reads replies. Forward email response from yesterday to make point. Not in mood for stupidity. Big report to work on, even bigger lack of desire.

8:15 am – Blow dry hair, then wonder why bothered to do so with heat and humidity levels. SD1 looks at water bowl in master bath as if to say, “It’s not to the level of my liking.” Sigh. Rinse out bowl and refill with fresh water. See a pattern in my day involving water. Leave bathroom.  Head back to my desk.

9:15 am – Have spent 30 minutes responding to emails that don’t even pertain to me.  Killing time until conference call. SD2 is on pillow at my feet, snoring. Not sure location of SD1. This is concerning.

9:16 am – Get up to look for SD1.  Find him downstairs in front of back door, but hasn’t rung bell. Very unlike him. He’s been super mopey. Perhaps, despite my bribery plan, he misses Daddy. I tell him that I miss him, too, while finding canine thermometer and canine personal lubricant, just to be sure he’s not running a fever. He sees me coming with temperature taking paraphernalia and runs. Catch him, pin him down and take his temp. It’s normal.  Now he rings bell to go outside. Perhaps I broke the seal. He potties. Now I know master ninja secret for breaking seal. Maniacal laugh issues from somewhere inside me. Realize I am laughing out loud at myself for evil plot. Possibly losing mind. SD2 comes downstairs and goes outside and flops down in sun again. Let her recharge for a bit. Clean powder room. SD1 comes back into house, gets ultimate reward – rice krispy treat.  Go outside to lure SD2 back in, and neighbor dog is out. SD2 hears the jingle of neighbor dog collar. Chases along fence line. Attempt to pick up SD2 and carry her back in house. Make it to patio. She runs back to fence. Decide big guns needed now. Get empty bag of charcoal out of garage, kept just for this purpose.  Chased her towards house, then she made arching curve back to the fence. Chased her again. Threw bag at her. Scared her to head into house. Gave SD1 the ultimate reward set aside for SD2. She pouted. Realized still somewhat hungry and remember bought yummy Fredericksburg peaches at store on Monday. Wash and slice one. Good mid-morning snack.

10:11 am – SD1 crashed out at my feet. Well, on my feet. He definitely misses Daddy.  SD2 is crashed out behind me, snoring.  Back to work.

11:08 am – SD1 is licking his paws. Noise is universal sign among SDs to annoy human parents.  Threaten to get his special socks. Licking stops. Thankfully.  Phone rings. Some tech scam artist informing me of problem with computer. Take page out of the Hubs book and say, “Which one? I have 30 in front of me. You have reached the CenTex CIA Regional Server location. How did you get this number?” Caller quickly hangs up. Self-satisfied smile on face.

12:41 pm – Finally get off of conference call. Realize why I’m so glad to no longer be in benefits. Resist urge to get severely drunk. Think what a disaster ACA is. Decide to avoid all political stuff rest of day. Blood pressure and patience can’t take it.

12:50 pm – SD1 missing again. Find him in guest bath lying on floor. That’s where he usually is when Daddy works from home. Severely missing Daddy. So am I. SD2 is asleep on cot relocated to my office. Stalking the Hubs on Find My iPhone and watching weather. Decide to put load of laundry in. Hopefully will remember to transfer to dryer before having to re-wash.

1:31 pm – Working on big report. WWE erupts under my desk. Not as entertaining without the costumes. SD1 pinned SD2. Think he’s getting tired of her starting ‘stuff’. SD1 & SD2 have been separated for now. Thankfully, no blood. This round is a draw. Hopefully, it is also final round. Actually, will be final round as Momma is tired and short on patience. SD1 & 2 have been warned.

3:30 pm – Early dinner/late lunch with the Mom in law. Nephew weenied out. Went to Cracker Barrel. Rarely eat there as the Hubs and the Pop in law don’t like it. Opinion is they have no taste. Had chicken ‘n dumplings. Hubs does not like chicken ‘n dumplings so never make. Food was yummy. Company was great, too.

4:54 pm – Got home from Cracker Barrel to discover SD1 threw up in crate. He tried so hard not to step in it. He’s been cleaned up, his crate’s been hosed down.  He is getting chicken and rice for dinner, no kibble. Commence to boil chicken and rice. Remind self if this was human child, I’d do what is necessary to make them feel better.

5:34 pm – SD1 came upstairs and promptly threw up. On the carpet. Twice.  Wish I could make him feel better. Hopefully it’s just change of Daddy being gone and he’ll settle down soon. Don’t like my babies not feeling well. Also, don’t like cleaning up throw up.

6:05 pm – Working still, answering emails. Seriously, what did we do for work before email? Seems all I do is email. Not sure much more to job. SD2 sitting at my feet, pawing me and growling. She wants to play. Or eat. Shut down computer. Go downstairs.

6:40 pm – Both SD’s given balls to play with. SD2 is not interested in chasing ball. She saves that for the Hubs. SD1 is on couch, head on ball. Clearly not feeling well. SD2 self-amused for 25 minutes with ball. Nice break.

7:31 pm – SD1 is not interested in eating. Not going to try his pills. SD2 is interested in eating her dinner as well as SD1’s. Pick up his bowl, cover and put in fridge. Ignore baleful glare from SD2. Wonder why if only one dog ate, the floor looks like sushi bar exploded. SD2 is not a dainty, lady-like eater. She’s not dainty or lady-like at anything, come to think of it.

8:07 pm – Interesting text with the Hubs about boiled peanuts. Brings to mind an episode of I Love Kellie Pickler and ‘bald peanuts’ (boiled peanuts). Decide the Hubs is going to be my bald peanut from now on.  Payback for T-Giggles nickname. And 100 other nicknames bestowed upon me against my will. Remind him to remind dad to call Mom in law.

9:02 pm – SD2 jumps down off of couch to get drink of water. Seizing moment and kicking them outside to potty before bed. Both potty. Both come in and head right to crates. SD2 takes her treat. SD1 does not.  Mental note made to check on him throughout the night. Mental note that I haven’t slept well in 4 days and trend apparently will continue tonight. Sigh.

9:10 pm – Face washed, teeth brushed, Benadryl consumed. Lay down. Text hubs. No response. Think angry thoughts as realize he’s escaped this hell and is having fun. Put earphones in, turn on audio relaxation file.

12:50 am – Hear noise downstairs. Check alarm is on. It is. Remember need to check on SD1. Get up. Go downstairs. He’s snoring. No sign of vomit. Go back upstairs. Head hit pillow…