5:50 am – Must have eventually drifted off to sleep as alarm woke me up. Still exhausted.

6:05 am – Sat down at desk since working from home this week. Still can’t access program to allow the completion of payroll. Send off 2^nd urgent email asking IT for help. Answer other emails, get flurry of replies, “Why are you in the office so early.” Because I’m in my PJ’s at home.

6:45 am – Time to wake SD1 and SD2 and get day started. SD1 does not want to get up. Scratch his ear, his butt wiggles, but goes right back to snoring. Tempt him out with treat.  Unlatch door to SD2’s crate and stand back.  She launches herself out and tumbles over my feet. Then it’s happy morning dance. Open back door, neither want to go outside in the stifling stillness of the morning. Shove them outside and tell them to go potty. Scramble two more eggs, put on top of fresh food. Think better of it and mix egg well into kibble. SD1 & 2 come back in. SD1 lays down. Won’t take his pills. Get SD2 to take hers. Now SD1 is pouty because he didn’t get his first. Finally get his morning pills into him. Attempt to toast bagel. Burn bagel. Get another bagel, adjust toaster to normal setting and toast again. Put dog bowls down on floor. Bowls spotless again. Really need to remember to get more eggs later this week.

7:10 am – Still can’t get into payroll system. Wonder if I’ve been fired and no one told me. Send 3^rd urgent email to entire IT team. Get response – “try now.” Still can’t get in. Get second response. “Sorry. Now try it.” Can get in. Get payroll processed. Answer 45 more emails. (Is this really what I do all day – answer emails?)

7:30 am – Running reports, waiting for their generation to finish. Have 10 minutes to kill.  Wander down hall and into bedroom. Make bed. Refill SD1 & 2’s water bowl in master bath.  Wander back out into bedroom. Grab duster and dust overlook.  Plug in hot wax for later. SD1 rings door bell to go outside. Go downstairs. SD1 does not go outside. SD2 hauls tukus downstairs, outside then flops in sun. SD1 finally mosies outside only to sit in sun. Neither potty. Grab Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and wipe random spots on doors in kitchen and breakfast nook. Attempt to get SD2 to come inside. She runs to fence and lays down again. Apparently she has not recharged her solar battery enough. Sigh. Go inside. Get favorite toy and lure her back into house. Give both SD1 & 2 treats.  Wash pan from scrambled eggs. Notice with happiness no ant presence around sink.  Go back upstairs.

7:45 am – Print reports. Generated wrong ones. Generate correct reports and print.  Realize printer is out of paper. Attempt to refill tray. Have Office Space moment with printer. Refrain from beating it to death with a baseball bat while Geto Boys Still plays in my mind. Figure out issue and fix. Maybe should not admit it was user error.   Review correct reports. Analyze. Have second Office Space moment about job. Find Man It Feels Good to Be A Gansta YouTube. Bob head to gangsta rap.

8:10 am – Need to change air filters.  Downstairs one is tough – it’s in the 10′ ceiling. Even on the taller step stool, cannot reach. Feel short. Do not want to mess with getting tall ladder out. Have genius idea and get 2 long handled poles out of utility room. Maneuver latches open using one pole. Used filter falls down. SD1 and SD2 scramble and are no longer interested in what Momma is doing. Unwrap new filter, set on top of grate, close grate with one pole, pushing filter back with other. Get latches closed with one pole while holding grate closed with other. Proud of myself. Wishes someone had been here to witness. Then think maybe not. Change upstairs filter. Not as challenging, but much faster.

8:53 am – Mother in law calls. She did not hear from our men last night. Must remind them that using technology keeps the women folk happy at home. Assure her they are ok. Tell her how late they left. Talked about lunch or dinner today, but due to laborious conference calls, I must suffer through by myself. SD1 and 2 are snoring at my feet.  SD1 seems happier with fresher air. Must remember to tell hubs that.

9:30 am – SD1 rings bell to go out again. Apparently making up for his lack of ringing it yesterday. Go downstairs. Let him out. Open new bag of treats again. Tear into individual pieces and put in treat jar. Bring SD1 back inside, give him treat. Take treat upstairs to SD2. Bribery plan still in effect.

9:35 am – SD1 and SD2 sound asleep. Peace at last. Back to work.

11:22 am – SD2 rings door bell again. He’s making up for only ringing it once yesterday. He pottied then lay down in the sun. Unfortunately, he doesn’t understand that as a brachiocephalic dog breed, he’s not exactly heat-tolerant. Three treats later, he finally agreed and came in. Back to work.

12:19 pm – Peace is shattered. SD1 found a toy football in my office and settled onto the cot with it. SD2 began to whine and act antsy; she wanted one, too. 5 minutes spent looking for a toy that she would play with that SD1 wouldn’t want. Failed miserably. 20 minutes spent trading toys back and forth, growling at each other. Working is a challenge today. Not for the first time do I wish we were well off enough that I could be a stay at home dog mom.

1:10 pm – Pups finally settled down. Peace shattered again by insolent little flyer-distributor with no comprehension of what ‘no soliciting’ signs mean. Mr. Potty Mouth spouted off one too many times, so I call the business he was advertising for to let them know why my household would not be patronizing them. They were not happy.  Desperately need a shower, but conference calls preventing that. Sigh.

2:00 pm – Grandfather clock chimes. It does this every hour. This time,  SD2 barks. This clock has been in our house for at least 8 months. Apparently she’s protecting me from the passage of time.

3:00 pm – Work conference call. 45 minutes that could have been handled in 5.  Is no one else busy?

4:30 pm – Ending my work day. Going to go wax my face and finally shower. Time to crash out on couch with a glass of wine. Dinner may be frozen pizza.

5:20 pm – Feel better now that I’m clean. Then spilled my wine. Not a promising beginning to the night. Cut myself off. I’d had two sips.

5:28 pm – SD2 is growling at toy box. Wants to play. Sigh. Give in. Give her a ball. Let SD1 up on couch, give him a ball. Quiet contentment for almost 30 minutes. Think maybe my bribery plan is working as the SDs are behaving quite nicely.

7:30 pm – Other than wine spillage, remarkably unexciting evening. Too tired to care about dishes. Sent Matt video of the clean dog bowls and still clean floor. Perhaps I need to get out of house tomorrow.

8:20 pm – Bedtime. Can’t keep my eyes open, dogs snoring. Get them up and outside to potty. Sleepyheads stumbled back inside and right to their crates. Relief as I did not want to deal with them sleeping in the bedroom tonight.

8:45 pm – In bed, texting Matt. It’s still light outside. I don’t remember the last time I went to bed this early.

9:50 pm – Take Benadryl to help me sleep. Still wide awake. Toss and turn. Can hear dogs snoring downstairs. Envious. Have heartburn from pizza. Realize too late that all acid reducers are in a motorhome on their way to Indianapolis. Make mental note to get acid reducers and more eggs later this week.

1:12 am – Must have fallen asleep as I woke with a start and more pressing heartburn. SD1 is restless in his crate. Go downstairs to make sure he wasn’t sleeping in doggy puke. Nope. He was just resettling his bedding. Great. But now I’m wide awake again. Sigh.

3:30 am – Still wide awake. Six more days of this before the hubs comes home. Not sure if I’ll survive.