A bit of background here. Matt and his dad are headed to the Bloomington Gold car show in Indianapolis. I am, for all intents and purposes, a single dog mom this week. This is the longest that Matt and I have been apart in almost 11 years of marriage. I decided to journal my experiences on the off chance that they are somewhat amusing. Besides, it might be helpful for authorities to have clues as to the need for my committal to a mental hospital.

7:00 am – This is going to be a long 8 days without the hubs.  Coal threw up in crate overnight, but fortunately, Matt was still here to help with clean up. My first thought, “They are sleeping in the bedroom with me tonight to avoid this.”

7:10 am – Fed dogs. Emptied dishwasher. Packed Matt for his trip. Made weekly pill boxes for the SD1 and 2. Attempted to finish the story board for Bloomington, but ran out of adhesive. Dried Matt’s car towels.

8:50 am – Headed to Michael’s to get more adhesive to finish story board. Then to Walgreen’s to get last minute items for trip. Then home. Finished story board. Started payroll. Got Matt out the door. They still didn’t leave town until almost 2:30 pm.

10:30 am – Pest Control showed up.  Annie did not stop barking. Did. Not. Stop. Seriously. Barked until about 2:45 and the man was only here 15 minutes. Made list for shopping later. Took a power nap and then finished work.

5:00 pm – Left to go run errands and shop. Not my favorite thing. Goal was to knock it all out tonight. Went to Lowe’s, argued with manager about why I had to check myself out when the country still needs jobs. Thanks $15 an hour demanders. Went to PetCo, bought 40 pound bag of dog food and small bag of treats. Intention is to bribe dogs to love me more by time Daddy gets back. Slung bag over my shoulder, purse on the other and treats in my hand. Apparently, I looked like I couldn’t manage.  Nice guy offered to carry it to my car. I told him that’s ok. The food weighs less than my dogs, I can manage. Was going to go to Sam’s Club, but three firetrucks and an ambulance with lights flashing made me think otherwise. Oh, and I left the Sam’s card at home. Headed out to finish my last two stops. Sally’s Beauty Supply was closed. Apparently ‘customer-friendly’ hours are not in their lexicon. Sighed and headed through traffic to HEB. I hate grocery shopping. Really hate it. I parked right next to a buggy corral to avoid extra walking in this heat. Went into store, got everything on my list, plus a few additional items. Still beat my budget. Success! Stopped at Toxic Hell (Taco Bell) on my way home. Lady cannot get my order right. I got what I paid for, but it wasn’t what was ordered. (These workers really think they are worth $15/hour???)  Went home. Unloaded the ‘burb. Let dogs out. Put away perishables. Sat down and ate lukewarm Toxic Hell order.

7:15 pm – Despite their food bowls being untouched from the morning, some inhabitants think I still need to feed them. 2 eggs scrambled, cooled and mixed in with their morning leftovers. Bowls have never been so clean. May need to return to the store to get more eggs this week.

7:45 pm – Sat down on couch. Breathed sigh of relief. Really tired, but it’s too early to go to bed or I won’t sleep through the night.  Put spoiled dog #2 on couch with me. She falls right to sleep. Hold spoiled dog #1, rub his belly and sing to him. So wish guy at PetCo could see this. He’d understand why didn’t need help with  dog food.  U-Verse guide not showing what is on each channel. Use iPad to look up guide and change channel to watch Last Man Standing, then My Cousin Vinny. Too tired to mess with looking up channels again.

9:00 pm – Bedtime, FINALLY!  Attempted to get SD2 (Spoiled Dog #2) off of the couch. This did not go so well. She would run to other end to avoid me picking her up. Now I could use guy at PetCo’s help.  Get her off couch after much prodding. She gives me a glare that says my shoes are not safe.  Usher SD1 and SD2 outside. Neither wants to go potty. I walk into yard, twist ankle, curse, neighbor asks over fence if I’m ok. I say yes because alternative explanation would take until dawn. At last, SD1 and 2 potty. Make mental note to pick up shoes before SD2 exacts her revenge.

9:35 pm – SD1 and SD2 don’t seem to understand  I want them to sleep in bedroom with me tonight. I need their snoring to create the illusion that hubs is home. They keep attempting to enter their crates, thwarted only by fact that I’ve latched them closed. I gather up stuff and head upstairs. Eventually they get the idea and follow. Put two dog beds, and 2 dog cots in bedroom. Neither dog wants to sleep on them. Fight over chaise lounge ensues. I break it up. Finally, everyone settles down. I lay down. Sleep is now elusive.

11:05 pm – SD1 decides he wants to be in his crate. Too much change. He can’t sleep. Fine. Corral both SD1 and SD2 and head downstairs. They do not follow. This is where new bag of treats comes in handy. Full bellies and in crates. Go back upstairs.

12:30 am – Still awake. Still. Wide. Freakin. Awake. One day down, 7 to go.